We all have a pattern that we follow and solitude often doesn’t make the cut. From the second we wake up in the morning to the moment we fall back asleep at night, we’ve all become relatively predictable. Wake up, check email, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, news, listen to voicemails, etc. We jump in the car, turn on the radio and listen to the news or music. Then many of us get to work, turn on computer screens, check more email, move more information, sit through conference calls meetings, sift through project plans amidst a buzzing smartphone with the latest message.
You know your wife wants romance, and you probably know you should try a little harder. But it doesn’t always come naturally. When you were dating, your romantic and creative side meant flowers, love notes, and chocolates.
But after the honeymoon is over, and the newness wears off, it’s easy to settle into a comfortable rut where the dates and romantic gestures don’t happen much or at all.
Cheer men on. A few weekends ago, I spent some time thinking about my dad. I thought of our times growing up in a small town in Virginia; the moments of fishing and hunting with him. We spent time in the woods exploring and discovering all the old farms and mountains in that area. I also spent some time reflecting on his life as a man. A young father figuring out life much like I am now with a young family.
Your calendar matters. I was scrolling through pictures on my iPhone last week and cleaning out some old photos to make room for new ones. As I was selecting images to purge, I found myself noticing how much my children have grown over the last two years. I found a video of my daughter’s first few steps, my son learning to ride his bike, pictures of family trips to the beach and mountains and a short video of my daughter singing her ABC’s. I started to get quite sentimental, and I thought: Geez it goes by too fast.
I was born and raised in New Orleans and spent 38+ years of my life there. Any good Cajun knows Hurricane season runs June through November. We usually have to evacuate the area at least once a season for an unplanned overnight stay in the region. But having gone through Katrina and having been an evacuee, I understand completely what the people in Houston are going through. You think it’s just another storm that will not be as bad as the weather man is saying. Get some sandwich stuff, water, candles and ice for the igloo and you’ll be set when the power comes back on.
That doesn’t always happen. When my wife and then two young boys left for Katrina, we didn’t know we’d not back for over 5 months. That’s when the act of selling our house took place as we were now living clear across the country in Arizona. The people of Houston and the surrounding area are in for a big life change. For the first 2 weeks after the storm hit, life was about needing clothes, underwear, toothbrushes, socks, luggage, money and much much more. We were spending time at Red Cross Shelters discussing what the plan was for the foreseeable future. Were we going back home? The Levee had broken and at the time, we didn’t know if our house was even still standing. We packed what we could in our Mini-van, but that hardly is enough to start a life over again.
Dad’s listen up. There is something absolutely wonderful about being a dad to sons. Raising sons is a noble and important task. Part of the reason Uncommen was founded was because of the fatherhood crisis we are seeing in our society today. Look up the stats and you will see that fatherlessness is a huge problem in our juvenile court systems, in prisons, and in schools today. We have all seen or experienced firsthand the devastation of a lack of father involvement in the life of young men. So rather than milling about with our heads down, it’s time to do something about it.