We live in a culture that says treat people the way they treat you. Do unto others as they do to you. But the Bible says do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That means to treat people as you want to be treated- not as you are necessarily being treated.
Our responsibility is to be a light in this dark world. We are not to be a light when we feel like it or when other people are doing what is right. If we are to be Christ-like, we are to shine a light of love to people who might not necessarily show love themselves. But is it possible to love people unconditionally? Yes, and here is how:
Seeing Through The Right Lens | Unconditional Love
1. See people as Christ sees them. Christ loves us. He does not like our sin. But our sin does not douse His loves for us to any degree. Likewise, we should look past people’s sin and see them as someone made in the image of Christ who is worthy of love. Christ loves that person. And we should too. Before we could love anyone, Christ loved us: “We love because He first loved us.”-1 John 4:10 (ESV) If a perfect God can unconditionally love us imperfect people, how can we imperfect people not love other imperfect people? Having a compassionate view of humanity as Christ does it the key to unconditional love.
2. Remember you can still have boundaries. If a person continually treats you with disrespect you are not obligated to spend time with them. Not all people are going to be your friend or be friendly. You can still treat them with love and respect and respectfully think about them. But if someone continually acts in an unloving way, are they really your friend? And is a genuine friendship going to occur? If they need your help and are willing to receive your help, by all means, help them. But I do not believe we are required to develop friendships with everybody we meet. But we are required to love everyone we meet.
Forgiving Others | Unconditional Love
3. Forgiveness is the key to loving people when they have wronged you. The Bible says we are to instead let go of our anger and love others as you love yourself:
You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord. -Leviticus 19:18. You do not have to pretend that the wrong that was done to you was okay. What you have to do is not hold it against the person who harmed you. You need to let go of your anger and have love and compassion on the fellow sinner that wronged you.
Forgiveness also does not mean pretending that you were never hurt by the person. You can know that you were wronged and that the behavior was wrong. But acknowledging that you were wronged does not justify being bitter about it. You need to move on.
Take Away:
Christ calls us to love one another period. Not when we feel like it, not when we think the other person deserves it. None of us deserve Christ’s love. He did not have to die on the cross for us. But He relentlessly loves us, and we should follow His example and have an unrelenting love for other people.
Author: Zack Buckler, an entrepreneur in the Charlotte, NC area.
Thanks for this reminder. When I saw the headline, I was thinking about the love that I give to my family. But we’re called to love everyone unconditionally. The difficult question for me, though is… What do I do when somebody is trying to harm people or others? Just try to prevent the targets from being hurt without resorting to violence? Would it ever be okay to attack as a form of defense?
Mark, thank you for the input.
I know every situation is different so there isn’t really one answer for your question. But I can speak from personal experience to this. I’ve taken Karate for many years and earned my 3rd degree Black Belt a long time ago. With all the time training in the martial arts, they’ve never spoke to this as anything but self-defense. Stepping into a situation to prevent others from being harmed is a tricky issue. You could be reading the situation incorrectly. You could be mistaken for the person a cop needs to take down. There are all types of issues when it comes to being pro-active in this case.
Pray for wisdom, protection and that God never places any of us in a situation like that.
Stay Uncommen.
This was a very touching piece. I am sitting in a situation where I find it difficult to let go of the wrong that was done against me and forgive the people whom wronged me. Where do I start? I enjoy it when things go wrong for these people. I avoid them when I can and I don’t want to get involved in things where they are also involved.
Grant,
Thank you for your input. I understand where you’re coming from as it’s very difficult to overcome what we determine as wrongfulness. You start with prayer. Pray that God reminds you (and us) of the Grace we were given when we were / are offending God. Pray for the those people, examine if there is anything you can change in yourself to address the situation. I know I’ve had to change to better relationships in the past. It’s a hard lesson as we always think the other people are at fault.
Do all you can to be the reflection of Christ. You won’t be able to get along with everyone, but you can act like Christ toward them.
We will be praying for you and your situation Grant.
Stay Uncommen
Wow! It’s as if I wrote this letter myself!
What about in relation to a spouse? I know we are to love unconditionally and agape to our spouse, but what if the spouse doesn’t want it or give it? Is it okay to divorce. We are both believers and I know God hates divorce. There isn’t any abuse, violence or sexual immortality to merit divorce, what then? Its been 26 months without ANYTHING but living under the same roof and sleeping in the same bed and just minimal conversation about children. I know everything is on God’s time and to trust Him in all things, but how do I love unconditionally in this situation?
G, Thank you for your feedback.
While I don’t know your situation, I do get enough emails and comments to know that it can usually be fixed with good communication. Start with praying about your spouse and ask God to give you wisdom and discernment. Ask your spouse if you could sit down and have a conversation about this topic.
Rule number 1 – no yelling or raised voices.
Rule number 2 – Ask questions and listen – don’t interrupt
Rule number 3 – Be willing to forgive and or change if you are in the wrong
Rule number 4 – Ask to pray with your spouse
If you need to meet for 15 min and then come back the next day to meet again then do so. Prayer and good communication will fix 100% of broken marriages.
You may even benefit from doing a marriage study together (5 Love Languages) to understand how each other communicates.
Stay Uncommen
This is really good content and should be put into practice, because it is hard at times to forgive and to love those that disrespect you. But it always goes back to the love of God.
He first loved ME! Thanks.
With the upcoming elections, it seems like no one has ever heard of this teaching.
When will Uncommen people step up and lead. We need to stop being afraid to have our voices heard.
Mike, thanks for the input.
If our voices would sound Glorify God and speak with Truth and Love, then yes I agree.