UNCOMMEN Husbands are Thermostats not Thermometers.
I have a gift.
I can take my wife’s emotional temperature from across the room. When she is hot (and I don’t mean ready to slip between the sheets with me), I seek a cooler climate, perhaps on the deck with an iced tea. When she’s cold, I look for a warmer personality – like a TV – to keep me company.
To be UNCOMMEN, you should cherish your wife. In other words, you should consider and care for your bride like you warm your own body. Unless you are in Seal training, you instinctively warm your body when cold. If it’s too hot outside, you put on your sandals and crank up the AC. If it’s too cold, you don the merino wool socks and build a fire. So to bring warmth to your wife as we bring warmth to our own bodies is encouragement to consider and care for her emotional needs in the same way we consider and care for our own physical needs.
If she’s chilly, it’s our job to warm her up. If she’s steaming, then we help lower the mercury. Therefore, the call to cherish means we have to engage when we’d rather shrink back.
Whenever I sense a slight irritation with my wife, my tendency is to pull away. But if I get a tiny sliver in my finger, my whole body springs into action. My nerves shoot pain warnings to my brain; like missile lock, my eyes fix on the problem; my legs halt any movement; my other digits dig out the intruder. Proportionally the sliver affects a small surface area, but my whole body responds. I wish that was true in my marriage. When a sliver of bitterness or frustration gets between us, rather than initiate, I let it fester.
In my recent readings I came across this advice- “Do not go to bed angry, because when we let stuff build up, it tends to destroy our relationships in the long run.” This doesn’t mean stay up and fight – but rather to resolve issues quickly.
It’s common to avoid conflict, but UNCOMMEN pursue peace at all costs. Is the temp off a bit in your relationship with your wife? Time to adjust the thermostat.