I have spent most of my life trying to change myself. Maybe it was the voice of condemnation that I grew up with or maybe the small, well-intentioned Baptist church I grew up in. Could it be because I looked to others to define myself, or how I hung my identity on their thoughts of me? All in all, I had been convinced that I was not enough. I was not enough for those closest to me, and I was not enough to receive God’s love and blessing. I know, it sounds a little crazy. Sometimes even now I wake up thinking about how to win, to embrace the peace and love my heart so desperately needs. I did it all. I memorized scripture, attended prayer meetings, and I even lead worship. All of this coupled with dedicating my actual life and vocation to His Kingdom.

We just celebrated 10 years of marriage for my wife and I. As I was looking back through some old photos from dating, our wedding, honeymoon, lots of weekend adventures, the birth of our kids, I felt this great sense of pride, but I also remembered when we were challenged in our commitment to each other. 2 houses later, a handful of jobs, and 2 kids, it feels like we have really grown up and grown together as a couple. But that’s not been without its share of bumps and bruises along the way for both of us, learning to live and love each other “in spite of ourselves.”

Ahhh the magic of summer. Warmer temps. School is out. Lots of burgers on the grill. And if your schedule allows, some outdoor summer adventure with your family. One of my favorite parts of the summer schedule with school being out is that the kids are often looking for something to do and more excited about the idea when you offer it up. I’ve got a bit of a Clark Griswold-like obsession with creating memories for my family, and look forward to being able to reminisce about those memories we shared together. I’ve got young kids myself so I’m in those prime memory making years where my kids actually still think (somewhat) I’m cool. But I know the clock is ticking there.

“1 Again I saw all the oppressions that are done under the sun. And behold, the tears of the oppressed, and they had no one to comfort them! On the side of their oppressors there was power, and there was no one to comfort them. 2 And I thought the dead who are already dead more fortunate than the living who are still alive. 3 But better than both is he who has not yet been and has not seen the evil deeds that are done under the sun. 4 Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man’s envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind. 5 The fool folds his hands and eats his own flesh. 6 Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind.” — Ecclesiastes 4: 1-6

Discontentment is a difficult and burdensome feeling to hang over us all of our lives. Men are so accustomed to this feeling that sometimes it can be hard to notice we’re even doing it, but the effects of it are so much clearer than the act. We compete with every person that lives and breathes and it’s connected to our ego. It creeps into every situation.

Statistics tell us 40% of children in this generation are being raised in a home without a father. This, of course, only accounts for those homes where the father is physically absent, so it doesn’t even include those where the dad is there but is not invested or engaged.

Studies also show, more than in any previous generation, women can – and want to – raise their children on their own, without the presence of the children’s father.

And it’s bull-donkey.

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” – 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 (NIV)