Snapchat, LOL, FML, ROFL, TTYL. Kids are speaking a different language in the digital world. I mean, it might as well be an entirely different language. Well, this is a challenge many men I work with face on a daily basis. But you are not off the hook if you and your son both speak English.

Imagine this; you are living in a country far away from America. You’ve lived here with your family for generations. You may have even lived in a time of peace and prosperity: the good old days. But now your life is extremely hard. You are living with the possibility of death or imprisonment or even starvation. The dangers around you and your neighbors have made you vulnerable enough that you are left with no choice but to seek refuge elsewhere. So you end up in a makeshift city with thousands of other of other people. Now only one thing is sure: your life will never be the same for you and your future family.

I recently polled a few wives at the carpool line at pickup for my kid’s school and asked them what they really wanted for Valentine’s Day this year. Their answers may surprise you as they did for sure surprise me. One woman, in particular, said she really doesn’t want anything. She feels Valentine’s day is too over-commercialized and that celebrating your significant other should be something you do consistently and not just one day. She said she doesn’t need things to be bought for her and would prefer her husband to make something sentimental or plan a fun night out. I asked her for more details, and she said “I would rather have my husband do tasks without being asked to show his love and appreciation for her all year round. Tasks like folding laundry, putting away the dishes and taking the car in for repairs.”

What an incredible yet challenging year 2016 has been for our nation and our world. As the New Year’s Resolutions often wear off in late January to early February, I thought it would be a great time to share our mission at Uncommen because we want to help you achieve your goals as a man, husband, father, employee, employer, and friend. We are in this thing together! 

In “Start with Why” well-known author and speaker Simon Sinek challenges us all before you start anything… Start with Why. “Do you know your Why? The purpose, cause, or belief that inspires you to do what you do?”

“We are not won by arguments that we can analyze, but by tone and temper; by the manner, which is the man himself” ~ Louis D. Brandeis

There’s an old phrase that couples use when something one partner says starts an argument — “it’s not what you said, it’s how you said it.”   At first pass, there may be some truth to it as far as marital success is concerned. A new study from researchers at USC & the University of Utah found that your tone of voice may impact the success or failure of your marriage, according to a press release. The study’s findings show that how couples talk to each other about their emotions can affect the way partners feel in the relationship, according to the press release.  Don’t believe me? Tell your wife how much you love her but instead of a kind voice, use a sarcastic tone. Don’t do that! Never do that. But you get the picture. It totally changes the meaning of what you are saying just by your tone. What you say is not the only thing that matters; it’s critical how you say it.

Loyalty: It’s a word we don’t use enough today as men. I want to talk about loyalty today. One of my favorite movies of all time is the Fellowship of the Ring – Lord of the Rings. The friendships between the major characters of The Fellowship of the Ring are the central themes of the movie. After all, at the end of Fellowship, Frodo doesn’t take Aragorn (strong, brave) or Legolas (fast, also brave) with him. Instead, it’s Sam who joins him. Sam insists on coming along because he cares for Frodo, and Frodo allows him to go because he can’t bear to go into Mordor without his dear friend by his side. It’s the loyalty between these guys that give them the strength they need to resist Sauron and bear the weight of the ring.

Con·fes·sion – kənˈfeSHən/

noun

• a formal statement admitting that one is guilty of a crime or a wrong
• an admission or acknowledgment that one has done something that one is ashamed or embarrassed about.

My son and one of his friends are fighting. They are five years old. So, I gathered enough to know they were fighting over a Hot Wheels toy car. So I decide to step into the middle of their fight and break things up. As soon as I ask what is going on, each kid points to the other, and they say almost at the same time, ‘He started it!’ It’s part of our human nature to blame somebody else for our problems. Blaming others for our problems is a natural response, but it is also an immature response. Keep in mind our natural responses are usually pretty childish. We have to learn mature behavior. However, the immature response of blaming others doesn’t always look childish.