I remember when I was a child – my mother raising four children on her own, taught us how to read a clock early. Her reason for teaching us to tell the time was that we were to give her a half hour of rest so that she could relax from the stresses of work before we came to her with all our problems that needed solving. We had a habit of putting all the furniture outside and hosing down the house whenever we were home for the summer. One day as we were returning the furniture to their rightful place, it rained and her favorite couch got soaked.
When she came home, of course, she plopped (or should I say splashed) right into the sofa. The silence was deafening as we waited for her reaction. She calmly said – “I’m waiting for an explanation,” at which point we piped up, “but a half hour is not done yet.”
“A man’s home is his castle” is a well-known saying. According to the Oxford Dictionary, a castle is defined as a large building or group of buildings fortified against attack with thick walls, battlements, towers, and in many cases has a moat. In the Middle Ages when war raged along the countryside, citizens often sought refuge in the castle of their king. The castle represented the place of safety, the place of protection and the place where they would be defended from all attacks of the enemy.
A man who is happy at home is eager to come home. His home (castle) represents the safe place from the vicissitudes of life. Just as my mother needed that time just to unwind, I believe that a man also needs that time of relaxation before facing any of the home challenges.
A wife and family that are welcoming when he comes home go a long way. Wives set the temperament of the greeting that a man receives when he comes home. If she spends the day murmuring and complaining, especially in front of the children, they will not be too happy to see him when he comes through the door, and neither will she. The loving embrace of a family can immediately blot out the concerns of finances, the insults from the boss and/or co-workers, even temporarily, as he basks in the warm embrace of his family.
My husband is a fisherman and hunter of wild boar. Every time he comes home, I usually greet him with much gusto telling him that ‘my favorite person is home”. He knows I mean it too. I have noticed that my eldest grandson has started to emulate me and that says a lot – as he used to be afraid to approach him because he is so strict. I realize that no matter how angry he makes me, or how annoyed I get at something he might do, those feelings are only temporary. Also, in recognizing how dangerous his work is, I am always thankful when he comes home free of injury and in one piece.
I know from my own experience that being able to relax in your home goes a long way toward mental stability. When there is no safe place at home, they either turn to bars (alcoholism), drugs, or other women – all because there is no escape at home or their home is not a safe refuge.
On the other hand, Christian men need to recognize that while their safe place (in the physical) should be their home, the safe place is in the secret place of the Most High.
Bible Reference: Psalm 91 spells out this just how safe this place:
• The place of confidence in the Lord – verses 2-3
• The place of hiding and defense: – verse 4.
• The place where there is no fear – verses 5 – 6
• The place of victory – verses 6-8
• The place of protection – verses 9-12
• The place of might – verse 13
• The place of satisfaction and provision – verses 14-end
Author: Sylvia M Dallas
Poet, Author, Photographer, Teacher of the Word and CEO and Director of Creator Services at The Publisher’s Notebook Limited based in Jamaica. She is married to Rohan Dallas, is a proud grandmother, loves coffee (Jamaican, of course), loves great tasting and healthy food, love to cook and is an unabashed follower of Jesus Christ. Her books AND THE PRISONERS HEARD THEM, THE RIGHT KIND OF INTIMACY and THE BED DEFILED are available on Amazon.
Thank you for this message
I agree that rest and relaxation is neglected, yet needed in a man’s live. I have a stressful job, but my wife raises our three children. From time to time, I take care of my kids for a day or two. At the end of this time with them, everybody walks away with hurt feelings. My wife’s job of being a full-time mom is more stressful than my some/most days. It being as simple as my wife jumping to the door to make sure I feel at home in my castle is unrealistic in my situation. And unfair.
How a man should be welcomed at home is only one aspect of this article, but communication and understanding from both adults in a home needs to be considered for men and women to find peace at home. Because let’s face it “if momma’s not happy, nobody’s happy.”