Love Her

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“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22 NIV

We had the pleasure this past weekend of hosting a wedding. My brother married his fiancé Jess, and they asked me to perform the ceremony. This was my third time doing so, and it really is special.

The coolest moment for me occurred as I watched my brother walk around nervously, waiting for his bride. Jess was getting ready and walked down the hallway. As she headed toward the backyard, my brother was facing her. He looked dumbfounded, sort of like a teenager who just saw his dream girl. It literally stopped him in his tracks.

Dave and Jess decided this relationship was permanent a while ago. They did not need me. Interesting fact, I asked my wife to marry me about two months after I met her. Dave asked Jess to marry him on the first official date before dinner. I guess when you know; you know.

In some ways, this public ceremony mirrors a public profession of faith, like baptism. I remember the day I accepted Jesus as my Savior. In the church I grew up in, they would have altar calls after most services. To get to Jesus, we knew we had to get up and head to the front. It was a long walk. They baptized me some time after that, but my relationship with Jesus became much more real after that walk.

After I walked down the aisle at church as a young man, I probably did not look that much different from anyone else. But I think it was good for me to show Jesus that I looked to Him for salvation. After watching Dave and Jess float around after the ceremony, it was apparent that both of them had benefited from putting God in the center of their marriage they both looked so happy.

How I Love Her

My wife and I had the same experience 31 years ago. I got to wondering, do I still show her how much I love her now? In my mind, I would do literally anything for her. Does it show? I think it is easy to let work, household duties, kids, schedules, and obligations cover what I want her to know — every day. I am sitting here looking at my to-do list for the week. It’s long. Her name is not on it anywhere.

But today, as I write this, I am reminded that love is not just a feeling or an idea, it is an action. It requires intentionality and effort. It’s not enough to say, “I love you” once and assume the message is received forever. Love needs to be demonstrated consistently, day after day.

I am making a commitment to myself and to my wife. Show her how much I love her in both big and small ways. Make time for us amidst the busyness of life.  Listen to her, support her, and be her partner in all things. Choose love, even when life gets challenging, Never take her for granted.

Because love is not just a one-time decision; it’s an ongoing journey. And I want to walk this journey with my wife, hand in hand, for the rest of our lives.

Let us all remember to cherish and nurture the love we have in our relationships, for it is a precious gift from God. May our actions speak louder than words, and may love always be the foundation of our lives together.

Uncommen Questions:

How much time does it take to move toward our spouse?

How many times is it obvious to her that I love her?

Uncommen Challenge:

Life is busy, I get that. But she deserves to know I am still dumbfounded by her.


  1. Jason Mulkey

    Love Is an Action Verb. And though you could say that Love is a Marathon, and not a Sprint, it’s more like a Relay Race haha! That requires some heavy sprinting at times, but also sharing the button of giving and taking, most of all sheer effort to Relay and not just Relax. All the while, understanding Patience in the works. Anyway, great Article Brother 👍

  2. Ruben Villalpando

    Very good article, but was disappointed at the part where you seemed to be condoning living together prior to marriage
    “Mary and I lived together prior to getting married. Statistics may not support that as a more efficient way to find permanent love, but in our case, it worked.”
    That’s not what the Bible teaches.

  3. Chris

    The Bible doesn’t teach us that it will fail, it didn’t the author and it didn’t me (me, married 18 years now). It isn’t the biblical way to do things at all, but we don’t all know Christ when we make those decisions. And it’s sometimes a good time after that point that we are truly committed ti Him.


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