How You Can Love Your Wife Well

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Love your wife. Not always so simple for today’s society. We have lost our families. Divorce is climbing at an alarming rate because men have lost the sight of just loving their wives. I know I know, we cannot be perfect. We are faced with temptations every day. However, we must not forget the essential part of this verse, ‘as Christ also loved the church.’ We have a Savior that loves us so much that He came and gave His life for us. He only had eyes for us.

Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,”

A Command To Love Your Wife

Even when Christ was tempted in the desert, He had His eyes and heart set on us. Not just as men but by name. When it comes to our wives, we must have this love for them as Christ did for us. Notice that this verse is not a question. It does not say, “Husbands, will you?” No, it is a command. Paul says, ‘Husbands, LOVE your wives.’ Every breath we take, every time we wake up, and every time we go to work, our wives should be number one on our minds. If we keep our wives and Christ at the front center of our focus, we can make it through any temptation.

Remember that girl walking down the sidewalk or on that social media page? Did she grab your attention? It’s easy for men to get distracted by what’s out there. It is our nature ever since the fall. In the story of creation, Adam not once looked at Eve with lust while in the garden. It was a perfect place. Along the way, men have forgotten what God created. Adam had the perfect helpmate. God designed holy matrimony.

Love Your Wife | Studies

Give Up Selfishness So You May Love Your Wife Well

Hollywood did not create a mere idea. They have taken love and lust and mixed it all so that husbands cheat on wives because they don’t love her anymore. Paul gave us the best example of love with Christ. Christ created to love. He showed us how to love one another. He even paid the ultimate price so we might be saved and live in Him. He died for us! Now I’m not asking you to strap yourselves to a tree and hang there for your wife. We should give up ourselves for them. Let our lust die when we say I do. Let our selfish ways die when we say I do. 

We must give ourselves up for our wives. Focus only on them. Let them help guide our children and directions. I, at one time, used to do something addicting and made my wife feel unloved. That was pornography. It took my eyes off of my wife. I didn’t love her the way Christ loved the church or me. I finally realized that I was young and stupid, but the scars were already put into place. She forgave me. She showed me love that I want to show her. Even through the hurt and the suffering, we decided to let this be a stepping stone for me to become a better man. 

Now I love my wife more than I love myself. I put her needs before mine. I make sacrifices to assure she’s loved the way Christ loves her. It’s hard. It gets tough, but you have to remember that Christ sacrificed Himself for us.

Author: Bruce

For more reading materials on how to sacrifice and love your wife, see below



  1. Paul Parmenter


    • Randall Johnson

      That is it. To be honest i am struggling to take the word of God and to apply it to my marriage. And i must say that this along is giving hope because i truly want tonlove my wife lije christ say that i am too. But i know in time i will be my wife knight shining armorer.

    • Philip

      I second that amen!

      • Tad

        Thank you Jesus!

  2. andrew powe

    Amen that is a spot on message.struggle with the same thing but Gods grace 🙌🏿

  3. Travis Bouwmeester

    I hid my addiction to pornography from everyone I knew for over 20 years! I was married for 15 of those and yes! The scars it caused were HUGE! But God got ahold of me last year and changed my life, I finally gave Him ALL of my life and not just parts and pieces. Once I allowed Him to change my heart the lies of that addiction no longer had any power over my life! I have become the spiritual leader my wife craved and my two boys needed! I thank God every day for a wife who prayed for change even though she didn’t know how or when! I would like to encourage anyone going through addiction to seek help and be honest, sin grows best in the dark and you need to speak truth to start the healing process!

    • Cornell Hofman

      Amen Brother!

  4. Woodbridge, VA

    I love this coming at this time to remind me that I was a STUPID JERK. I chased and hunted my Wife. I fought against her Mother to win her.

    Yet I don’t fight, chase, hunt her like I did when I was young. I have constantly looked and lusted, and even tried to cheat but FAILED because mind and body would not perform.

    We are one and I have rebelled every chance I HAD.

    25 years of GROWING up moving and getting involved in a great church with great brothers in Christ and finding this website. I have been reborned in my heart, my mind and trying to win BACK my Soul.

    Thanks for this reminder of what love was, can still be and the great expectations for tomorrow.

  5. Haines Maxwell #2

    Good stuff, brethren. As a grey-bearded guy, I will submit a critical piece for me on the amazing Love-A-Woman adventure – identity. I believe with all the best efforts, focus, and biblical determination we will be toast if we don’t know who we are. Trying hard will work …for a while. If our validation/identity comes from anything other than who we are as God’s beloved sons – from the response of the woman, success of the sports team, job, ministry – we will eventually be drawn to those counterfeits for a temporary sense of manliness. Determination to love that woman…on her worst days, when she hasn’t kissed you in a month or twelve, etc…will always ultimately fall short. Some of the comments talk about a change of heart to which I say “amen”…and submit to you that a core part of that change is about who YOU are…your identity in Him.

  6. Carlos

    Thank you Bretheren, for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I would like to add that CONSTANT COMMUNICATION between you, God, and your spouse is essential in your marriage. I have almost lost it all twice for not communicating as I should have. Getting lost and overwhelmed with the daily routine caused me to get comfortable and loose communication with God and in turn assume that my wife wouldn’t understand my needs and sought to fulfill them elsewhere. Needless to say that after a lot of tears, sleepless nights, and opening my mouth to talk with the ones I love (God and my wife). I can honestly say that I am experiencing the Book of Solomon unfold in our own marriage. My wife is my best friend and greatest lover that one could have. A lot of my selfish needs and assumptions were the same needs my spouse was looking for as well. We just never opened our mouths to talk about it. Talk to her about anything and everything you will see how God makes both halves fit perfectly together.

  7. Damian Winter

    Us husbands can only strive to love our wives as Christ loved the Church! I pray we can love each our wives unconditionally!

  8. Larry D Holland

    A perfectly timed message. I’m going through that now. Thanks for the encouragement. I really needed this.

  9. Patrick

    Fantastic share. Thank you!

  10. Victor saucedo

    I struggle with looking at other woman. I know I love my wife but I still find myself looking longer than I should… I need to change or this is the end of my marriage

    • Tj Todd

      Victor, I believe all men struggle with that (myself included). What I would say is to have a conversation with your wife about the differences in men and women when it comes to temptation. Putting yourself in good situations and when you see a woman that you know is going to tempt you to look too long…grab your wives hand and look her in the eyes until that temptation is gone. Now there is a difference of temptation and acting on it. If you have a honest communication with your wife and ask for her help, pray about it and take steps to keep your eyes where they need to be, then that should help. You may want to read out latest devotional called “Man Eyes”

      Man Eyes


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