Being rooted in love (Eph 3:17), we can’t thrive without deep roots (Mt 13:21), but what happens when we discover roots to things in our lives that we don’t want to grow anymore?
After living in our house for almost a year, my wife decided it was time to evict some of the bushes in our front yard. While trying to unearth these things that had occupied their patch of earth for probably the last 25 years, it became clear that the root systems were not going to give up without a fight. We used all the tools we had: shovels, a hatchet, even a pickaxe, and it took us several hours to successfully unearth them in their entirety. A few times, I thought we had gotten ‘enough of it,’ and we could quickly cover up the remaining root portions with dirt, but my wife was insistent on removing every bit of the root so that there was no chance of it growing back.
While working, I was reminded of the things in my life that I have had to sweat, dig and chop to remove. Roots from seeds that had been planted in me when I was growing up… Things that I had been taught or that I had been exposed to that had taken root in me. As I got older, these things not only grew but became pervasive in my life as they developed into addictions and behaviors that I didn’t have the tools to control. I would fool myself into thinking that I could cover up what was growing, but the roots remained.
Job 14:8-9 says “Though its roots grow old in the ground and its stump dies in the dry soil, At the scent of water, it will flourish and put forth sprigs like a plant.” And that’s exactly what happened… I deceived myself into thinking that some indulgences, if kept secret, were okay, and I unknowingly began feeding a giant that had been sleeping in the darkest parts of my heart and mind. I became entangled in a life that I no longer wanted or even recognized.
For me, my roots grew into a secret life fueled by a pornography addiction and eventually relationships that jeopardized my life, my marriage, my reputation, and everything that was important to me.
When we were digging up the plants in our front yard, I was surprised at how large a hole we had to dig to locate and remove all the different parts of the root. It looked like a bomb had gone off in our front yard! And it occurred to me that the same thing happened in my life when my roots were finally exposed. The impact and destruction it caused to my ‘neat little landscape’ of life were devastating. It was messy, it was ugly, it was hard work, but it had to happen.
The longer you allow for something that is unhealthy to grow underground, the messier the extraction will be.
Matthew 15:13 says that “every plant that my Father has not planted will be rooted up.” For me that happened ‘accidentally,’ and it was disastrous. You can avoid that happening to you. Let others in. Talk to somebody about what is growing inside of you, no matter how ugly it may be.
Proverbs 28:13 says “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”
James 5:16 says “Confess your faults to one another, that you may be healed.”
Men, take charge – don’t let your life fall subject to the consequence of sins and secrets growing within you that you cannot control (none of us can on our own!).
Author: Dave Lucido
Such a challenge,it’s my time to uproot all the roots before messing my whole being….
You can do it bro… Find someone who’s willing to roll up their sleeves and help.
The most important thing for me in this short study is that every thing that was not put in by God will be uprooted. So I will search my heart to seek out what was placed there by me or others and allow God to remove it.
I have realized for a long time that I have been battling a pornography and lust issue. I have been in church and mens groups for 25 years or so and shared, confided with numerous men, counselors. Most of the time it alienates our friendship and makes relationships difficult. My wife of 36 years now says she’s done, that I’ve ruined everything- time to tell the kids and grandkids the big lie that we’ve hidden all that time. I don’t know if I can get her back but she doesn’t want to share with the family until after the holiday and upcoming birthdays. Pray for me that I find a quality man to share with and more resources to dig into, like the porn kills devo and John Eldridges Sexual Healing prayer.
Bob, we will be praying for you. Note, that we have partnered with Faithful Counseling for times just like this. You can reach them here – https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/start/?gor=start&go=true
I need help before this secret sin mess need up
I just found Uncommen through a devotional on YouVersion and I’m so glad I did. I really enjoyed the devotional and all the scriptures that support it. Thank you!
Kevin, that is great to hear. Which study did you complete?
This was truly incredible. Secret sin is something I have been dealing with for a while. With the help of UnComMen I have been able to build strong relationships with other men and my wife that have helped me unroot some stuff and consistently combat secret sin!
I feel that this is a theme the Holy Spirit is broadcasting at the moment. Let us be Holy because He is Holy. We must not be like the man who forgets what he looks like after seeing himself in the mirror. We are living in a time where a distinction is being made between those who trust Him and those who don’t. It is not easy, but true believers are not called to something that is easy. We are in the world, we must not be part of it and only by His Grace, not by might nor by strength but by His Spirit that we Overcome. He comes alongside us and helps us in this, our flesh and soul are weak, but His Spirit is our strength. We all need to choose, choose life and not death and that is where our difficulty lies. making the right choice. God showed His unconditional Love for us, but do we love Him? do we love him enough to say no to lusting over that tempting image, saying funny yet blasphemous jokes, snide remarks, etc..? There is blessing in repentance and overcoming these snares brings us more and more into the Freedom He dearly paid for. Let us continue our commitment to Him and be devoted to Him, keeping our Focus on Him and in so doing receive joy and peace which the world does not know about.
I lived exactly what you’re talking about. Secret sin I thought I could control but it was really controlling me. My wife found out my secret. The bomb went off and I came clean with my friend, pastor, and most importantly my wife.
It’s a mess right now and I’m fighting to grow stronger in the Lord and remove all of these horrible roots. I trust God will do a miracle and somehow bring my wife back to me.
Please pray for me. Wisdom, overcoming the sin which caused me to stumble. But please pray for my wife, for healing and restoring her broken heart.
Thanks
Rick, thank you for sharing that with us. All you can do is what you have done…repent and ask for forgiveness. It may take a little longer for your wife, but give her time and be willing to openly communicate with her. Stay Uncommen!