What is Code Purple?
It’s the overlap of blue and pink. It’s where men and women interact with each other in a way that may be different than the way they are used to being. The Blue Man shows up to hear the problem, dole out a fix and get back to the game. The Pink Woman shows up desiring to talk things through and wanting you to listen. Where they overlap is what we call, CODE PURPLE.
James 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger
My wife and I started to refer to this term when we seem to be coming to a topic from entirely different angles. Sometimes that is an excellent thing as it allows the strengths of both to shine. Sometimes it’s an alert to check your motives, and sometimes it’s a “Watch out, Jack!”.
There is so much wisdom in the Bible that it’s hard to take it in all at once. But here in James, he gives us a statement that sounds like it came from your Grandmother or one of the 12 billion social memes.
Let every person be quick to hear. | Listen!
When was the last time you showed up to a conversation with the intent to listen? Listening is an art form that is completely underrated in our society and apparently in our marriages as well. People hate silence and feel the need to chatter, over explain and talk over the other person in the conversation. They don’t care about what you have to say; they want to tell you what is on their mind.
I’m a gleaner by nature and can talk about almost anything. If I don’t know anything about that topic, I ask questions and listen. I try to remember that 50% of a great conversation is listening to the person I’m spending time with in the first place.
Slow to speak. | Listen!
Ever get into a conversation with someone, and it’s like you’ve pushed over a bucket of water? Every detail in their life spills out like the stream from a firehose? There are no pauses, there are no breaks in the conversation, there is barley time for them to take a breath; it’s just pouring out, and you’re there to listen to it. That’s not the kind of listening we’re working towards.
This verse is about listening to someone and taking a minute, an hour or days to respond. Look at any political debate, and you’ll see that many simply respond or shout back an answer without fully understanding what was said.
Maybe excellent communication is about letting the other person know they are valued and you’re there to have a conversation with each other. How would you ever help someone if you’re whining about yourself all the time? Take a moment, gather your thoughts and once you’ve made your point – STOP TALKING.
Slow to anger. | Listen!
I know people who say they are Christians who are always angry. It seems they are not just mad at this group or that tax. They are mad at 25 things, and they want you to know just what they think about their stance on those issues. Granted, there are topics to be passionate about, but not everything is worth fighting over. If social media had just one fatal flaw, it’s that it gave a platform to the “Ugly Christian” to spew whatever agenda they wanted to with the click of a button. I have two verses for you that should make you rethink how you act on social media and in-person.
1 John 4:20 — “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.”
Matthew 12:36 — “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,”
As you can see, you need to be ready to be in a Code Purple. Your spouse may be prepared to have a meaningful conversation with you. Are you ready?
Author: Tj Todd