First Year of Marriage: Young and Unhealthy

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You never plan on being sick. It just always seems to happen out of the blue. My wife has always been sicker than most since her immunity system isn’t the greatest. She is often plagued by migraines, severe colds, and a plethora of other sicknesses. I knew this since we had known each other for six months and dated for two years, and got married last year before lockdown. The description of our first year of marriage – young and unhealthy.

Being married for the first six months was fine. My wife had medical issues but nothing major or life hindering. Then, she started to have severe pains in her sides; at first, we thought it was just her menstrual cycle. One month passed, then two and seven months later, we finally were able to see a doctor who cared enough not simply to brush it off as stress or the pandemic. But even then, we didn’t get the help quickly. It was almost a year before we could schedule the surgery she needed to get some semblance of her life before these pains.

Let me tell you; those months were some of the most difficult I have experienced in my life so far. Having to wait while my wife suffered from an unknown ailment, not being able to help her in any tangible way, was the most difficult for me. I’m a fixer, as probably most men are, and feeling that helpless was a humbling experience. But, I can tell you from a personal view, it made me view my time on this earth in a new life. It reminded me a lot of Psalms 144:4. “Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow.”

We are such weak creatures, but I can tell you where I got the strength to be there for my wife. When I came home from work and had to take care of the house, help my wife where I could, and everything in between, it was the people around us. The couples in our life group that gave us meals, it was the couple who prayed over us both in person and over the phone multiple times; it was our family members who helped with the housework. All of these things and many more helped both of us push through when it all seemed impossible.

1 Thessalonians 5:14

“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.”

This is why it is so important to have a group of people that you can rely on for help, comfort, and prayer. Without those people in our lives, it would have been ten times as difficult to keep everything going. Having been on the other side of the surgery and my wife finally starting to resemble the person I married, I can clearly see where God stepped in our lives and put people there to help us and guide us. I now know that I can rely on these people in my life and go to them for guidance and help, something that I have rarely done in the past. I hope that hearing our story has given you hope if you are going through something similar. I will leave you with this verse in Psalms 32:

8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

9 Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,

which must be curbed with bit and bridle,

or it will not stay near you.

10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked,

but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.

11 Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous,

and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

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