Touch is a language that all people seem wired to understand. And it’s imperative in the marriage relationship. Remember when you were first dating your wife? If you’re like me, it was electric. Remember your first kiss? Incredible!
Then somewhere along the way, the hand holding, the kissing, even the sex sometimes loses its appeal. But why? Life can be filled with busyness and stress. Most couples are often trapped in the vortex of working long hours and tons activities with children with little time to stop and be close to each other. Even the most intentional couples struggle with this is in different seasons of their marriage.
Have you ever gone a day without kissing your spouse? How about a week? A month? What about holding hands or even hugging? Between jobs, raising kids, paying bills, hobbies, it can all easily eat up our time. Often this leaves us with very little time to think about, let alone actually touch, our significant other in a meaningful way.
If we aren’t careful, we begin to let the everyday things become more important than the good stuff like touching the one we love. By being thoughtful and taking the time to touch and be close to our spouses, we’re physically and emotionally demonstrating that they’re a priority to us. We’re connecting in a way that says, “Hey, I love you, and you are important to me.” And it’s important to note that you shouldn’t expect it to lead to sex. In fact, if that is your expectation you might be pushing your wife further away.
Physical touch is one of the most powerful ways to communicate your love and care for them. Likewise, withholding touch is a powerful way to express anger or withdrawal. If you are like anything like me, you might be easily distracted and need reminders or cues to make physical touch with your spouse a priority before rushing into the day.
Great Times for Daily Physical Touch with Your Spouse:
1. When You Say Goodbye: A kiss and hug before you or your wife head out the door is the perfect way to start off the day.
2. When You Come Home: My kids know that when I walk in the door from work, the first kiss is always for their mom. It’s a reminder to us both that our relationship comes first, even before the kids.
3. When You Are Watching TV/Movie On the Couch: This is a great way to relax from a long day while also communicating with your spouse that they’re important to you.
4. Before Going to Sleep: No matter what happened that day, end the day with a hug and kiss in bed and say “I love you.”
These sound pretty simple at first glance, but it can be so easy to miss these moments. Life is distracting, and it can be overwhelming at times, but don’t let distractions make your most important earthly relationship suffer.
Do you make time for physical touch? Not just sex, but touch that let’s her know she’s important to you?
Do you know what your wife’s love language is? If it’s physical touch and you’re not speaking that language, you may feel a disconnection. Learn her language and speak it.
Uncommen Challenge: Ask your wife this week how/when she appreciates physical touch throughout the day. Listen to her answer. Then make a note to do it on a regular basis.
Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”
About the author: Tj is the CEO of Studio490 Creative Services and Uncommen.
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