Planning For Children

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My Brilliant 5 Year Plan

When my wife and I got married in 1990, we wanted to wait about five years before we had children. We wanted some time for ourselves. 

  • Friday AM: I was teasing with a friend at work that every time I heard crying or screaming child, we added one more year to when we would have kids. 
  • Friday PM: I remember sitting in a restaurant with a child throwing a hall of fame hissy in the booth behind us. I rolled my eyes and said…bing…another year.
  • Saturday: My wife and I are at the store; out of nowhere comes a home pregnancy test in the basket. I locked eyes with my wife, and she gave me this look as if to say…” we’ll see.” 
  • Sunday: After four retests were all positive, my wife called and made an appointment with the Doctor’s office to confirm. 
  • Monday: I told my friend at work how my weekend went, and she at a right good laugh. So much for your five-year plan.

So much indeed. We miscarried that first pregnancy and had our first son in 1996.

The nerve: Like I had any say so when God wants us to have children. 

Our plans are just that…our plans.

I’ve heard the expression, Man plans, and God laughs. We went on to have two sons, but I have many friends who planned to have children and couldn’t. Some only had miscarriages, and some never could get pregnant at all.

Waiting on God’s Will

That can be a long wait as maybe that is not His Will. My wife and I planned on having four children. Instead, we had two sons and two miscarriages. I remember when I was in Jr. High standing at the Bus stop. On most days, I wished it never came. But on days when it was crazy cold or raining, it felt like it took its sweet old time. I would stand out in the street and look down the road to see if I saw that big yellow bus coming. It moved at its pace and not mine. That is how God moves in our lives, and just because we may want children doesn’t mean we get them. I used to hear a girl at work tell me she would have children when she wanted and not when society dictated. She wanted several but only had one and stopped trying when they got older. 

While I’m usually too busy listing things I want God to do for me, I should be asking for His will for my life in that area. What if what I’m asking about is the worst possible thing for me, and I don’t know it yet? God does, and He doesn’t always ask my opinion.

Truth & Grace

  • So before you create your brilliant five-year plan, take a moment and pray to God about that plan. Then, get quiet, patient, and still, so you (and I) can hear the Holy Spirit speak to us.
  • Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Challenge: Before we start planning out our future as if we are in complete control, let’s take some time to bring God in on the conversation.





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