C

BECOME A BETTER

HUSBAND, DAD, AND LEADER.

More Compliments Please

More Compliments Please

Hey, guys – you already know your wives want and need lots of verbal affirmation from you, right? That’s pretty much Marriage 101.

But, as a wife for more than 2 decades and a girl for a few more decades than that, I have to tell you that you still might have this one all wrong.

Yes, we want to hear that you think we’re beautiful. But we also need you to realize that telling us won’t convince us to feel beautiful, especially if we have body image issues. That kind of insecurity runs deep.

We’re really different from you guys when it comes to how we see ourselves. Studies show that about 80% of women are dissatisfied with their appearance, while around 50% of men are totally great with theirs. That means it’s not what we’re seeing in the mirror; it’s how we’re framing it up in our minds.

So keep the compliments coming, but be patient with us.

It’s also unbelievably important that you compliment us on other aspects of who we are. Whether we’re struggling with self-confidence or not, we need to know that you see and respect what we’re doing in our parenting, our careers, our characters, our homes, and everything else we set out to accomplish. We need to know that we fascinate you in much more than just our appearance. And if you have a daughter, she needs to know that men love women for reasons other than how they look.

And we also need you to never assume that we know all those nice things you think about us. Say them out loud, please!

All of this comes with a caveat. Sorry! We’re complicated, what can I say? If you have underlying disrespect for your wife, no compliment can make up for that. If you don’t truly and deeply respect her intellect, her abilities, her drive, her accomplishments, and her love for you and your kids, you’ve got an impenetrable barrier between the two of you. If that’s the case, you need help in your marriage and your mindset.

What it boils down to is this: You can’t fix larger problems with compliments, but we still desperately want and need you to love us, to respect us, to think we’re beautiful – and to tell us so, out loud, on the regular.

Written by UNCOMMEN Contributor, Deb Mitchell

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Ways to Show Your Wife You Love Her

Ways to Show Your Wife You Love Her

estimated read time: 3.5min   Colossians 3:14: "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." There are many ways to show your wife you love her. We suggest starting at the heart and soul of any family, the love between...

read more
What Is Your Garden of Eden

What Is Your Garden of Eden

“Fools fold their hands and ruin themselves.” Ecclesiastes 4:5 NIV My dad had working hands. They were rough and rugged, callused from a lifetime of work. He started on a farm and never had a job that did not include manual labor. I remember the sound of him rubbing...

read more

CATEGORIES: ChallengesHusbandDad  – Leader  – Charter

0