Is pornography destroying your marriage? The answer is quite simply, yes. It may not be today but it will, eventually once exposed.
“In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” Ephesians 5:28-30
When Pornography Started For Me
As I grew up, I struggled with this verse, but probably not for the reason most would. See some times, I struggle with hating my body. I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at age 11. In short, this means my body does not create insulin on its own, so I must calculate and determine how much to have to live.
Suddenly feeding my body became a chore, not a pleasure. I also was exposed to what chronic illness does to a family as we had previously been watching my cousin for a few years who had cystic fibrosis. So I did not want my new diagnosis to be a stress to my family. So I took the whole thing on myself and hid any issues so that everything was fine, all the time. An image I decided to portray to my family and the doctors.
This issue gave Satan an excellent opportunity to slide in with the emerging internet age and the availability of pornography, which was a relief to all the stress around just trying to live a regular life.
So this one thing that “helped” me deal with my stress, I slowly find out as I get older is, as referenced in 1 Corinthians 6:18, a sin against my own body.
I was mad at my body for not working correctly, and I was sinning against it in practicing sexual sin.
Like many men who get involved with porn before marriage and are still virgins, I thought getting married would fix it. But it doesn’t. It was a way of creating bitterness and hostility between us. Building a relationship is tough, and there are consequences to the way you speak, move, act, spend your time, etc.
As I struggle with being angered by my body, I am being told to love my wife as I love my body. Yeah, that’s right, the body I am sinning against daily. I kept my pornography a secret for many years, and as I did, it hurt our relationship in so many ways. It also hurt me. I grew to want to love her better than how I loved myself and became bitter and angered towards myself.
Is Pornography Destroying Your Marriage?
God blessed me with a woman who decided to confront me, challenge me, and then tell me to get help while she tried to get help for all that this meant to her. Unintentionally all my insecurities that brought on my additions were being communicated to her. My love for her was a reflection of my love, or lack thereof, for myself.
I have spoken with many pastors, psychologists, and social workers over the years and still use apps and accountability to this day. But one verse stuck out to me on Christmas Eve one morning.
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it to the glory of God.” – 1 Corinthians 10:31
That morning, I asked myself, is there any possible way pornography could be used to God’s glory?
Not a chance. Is pornography destroying your marriage? 100% chance.
I have been living free from the captivating pull of pornography for over two years now. I am still working with the consequences of what it has done in my life and relationships.