James 1:19 “Wherefore my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”
I suddenly regretted the words that had just left my mouth. My wife and I had just been in a bitter argument and I; being the broken man that I am, had to get the last word in. Most of us have been in this situation a time or two in the past, and as men, we tend to lean towards a win/lose way of thinking. Well, friends; I’m here to tell you that I wasn’t the only one that lost that day. Not only did my words hurt my wife but they hurt our relationship, and that takes time to repair.
Setting the example
As spiritual leaders in our home and in our marriage, it is up to us to set the example for our spouse as well as our children. Getting the last word in sometimes works against us in the long run. It’s hard to see in the heat of the moment that God wants us to stop and truly reflect on why this event is happening. Sometimes when we take a moment to ask God to help us, he may very shed some light on why we are feeling the way we are about the situation and maybe even give us the means to say it out loud.
Time and again I yell, speak harshly, and generally act like a grump towards my wife and family as the Lord continues to mold me and work the kinks out. Time and time again my wife and family forgive me for my transgressions but I never truly forgive myself. It’s not until I sit down with God and ask him to heal me and show me how to be a better husband and Dad that I begin to feel a little more like a man again.
Proverbs 29:11 “A fool uttereth all his mind; but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.”
I regret what I said; How can I avoid it?
So, the next time you find yourself in the middle of a heated discussion with your spouse or family, do yourself a favor. Ask yourself the following three questions before you speak. First question: Is it True? Now sometimes this is a pointed question because the answer may very well be right but that leads to another question. Question 2: Is it kind? See, if the answer is TRUE but not KIND – it is probably better to keep it behind closed lips! Question 3: Is it beneficial? Does what you have to say benefit the conversation at all? If any of the above answers are NO – then keep it to yourself as more harm will come of it than good.
We try hard every day to work towards our relationship with the Lord, our spouses, and our families. Let’s not let harsh words and misspeaking get in the way of allowing us to be UNCOMMEN!
Author: Tim Hudson
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