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How To Impact Your Kids When You Get Home

How To Impact Your Kids When You Get Home

How to impact your kids; it starts by recognizing something. My main job is being a husband and a father. I have a paying job to support that effort. In that job, I drive a lot. I run up some significant windshield time. In a way, it can be an opportunity for the enemy to work on me. But it can be a tremendous blessing. I have drive time every week to turn me back into a father and a husband. I know a lot of men who struggle with bringing work home. Some struggle with that transition, and it can have a negative impact on your home.

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” — Colossians 3:17

Before I Walk In The Door | How To Impact Your Kids

Many years ago, my pastor challenged me to stop and get my mind ready before I walked in the door. I paid attention to that challenge. When I worked in town, I would stay a couple of blocks from my house and ask myself questions. Things like, “I wonder what kind of day Mary had?” “What are the kids doing?” “What do I need to do within our house to make both better?” “What is she wearing?” “Are they driving her crazy?”

It helped. It made me much more attentive to the roles that are the most important to me. I have since switched jobs to my current vocation. That’s the one with all the driving. Sometimes I can be coming home from four hours away, and it’s late at night. I have the time to decompress. I should say I have the opportunity. Sometimes I can let a negative voice run over me for four hours too. I get a new chance every week. Usually, my wife and kids are asleep by the time I get there, but sometimes Mary waits up. It allows a much better avenue for connection because I am usually more attentive by the time I get home. Not perfect, just with a much better focus on the truly important.  

The Energy I Give | How To Impact Your Kids

This week I was on the way home and heard a song called “Lifer” by MercyMe. It’s positive. It makes me want to dance even though I know I cannot. It’s encouraging. It’s also challenging. Am I a Lifer? Do I lead a life that reflects God? Do I encourage my family? Do my friends know how much I love them? Does anyone I encounter see a reflection of Jesus?  

Then it struck me. What kind of energy do I give to the people around me? If I present a negative, heavy emotion, I am likely to get that reflection back. Do I bring the room down or do I lift it up? Do I encourage my wife in her effort to live a life that reflects peace? If none of these things happen regularly. Why?  

I know what I want to reflect. I know that I want to be a good example and a good source of support and love and guidance. We all want to be leaders in our family. We all are leaders in our family. The way we conduct ourselves is the better question.

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6 Comments

  1. Andrew Carty

    Hey guys, I have been struggling with this as far as how I raise my own children. Particularly in the area of how I speak to them or discipline them. The dread, What is wrong with you? Has left my mouth on more occasions than I would like to say. Any advice on how to combat this…?

    Reply
    • Trent Thomas

      Galatians 5:16-26, check it out. You are already in the right direction my brother as your actions are now bothering you. Prayers your way!

      Reply
    • JD

      One thing I do before I discipline is take a walk or get by myself and pray. This is so I’m not angry or mad when I discipline. Then I speak to them and find out why and let them know the consequences of their actions. It has helped me and I noticed I am getting different results(good ones) over time.

      Reply
    • Jason Partain

      I too struggle here. Mine can be more my tone in my voice. It seems to always be toward the ones I love the most. What has helped and is helping me is I pray specifically and ask for the ability to recognize it as it comes on or is about to happen (me speak in harsh tone) before I something and stop and collect my thoughts and be intentional about how I am about to communicate. Hardest thing ever right now. But at least we recognize it and we turn to Jesus about it who is the only one that can really help us.

      Reply
  2. Damian Gagnier

    Well, just know you’re not alone. I am 44 and I think my dad still wonders “What is wrong with you?”
    I have 4 kids and I also exasperate them, but they also exasperate me… a lot. In Christ we are completely and forever forgiven and set free, but we and are children still are not perfected.
    In parenting there are unlimited opportunities to point our kids to the beauty of Jesus, especially when we blow it.

    Reply
  3. Andrew Carty

    Thank you, brothers, for your replies and sharing you wisdom..you have all blessed me in some way or another

    Reply

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