In Genesis 3:6, God asks this question of Adam. I do not believe that He asked because He did not know where Adam was, but rather to bring Adam to a confession of his current state. It is in the acknowledging of your current state that you can identify what needs to be groomed, pruned or fixed. Generally speaking, we have held men in such bondage that they are unable to admit a fault, to say they are sorry, to cry, etc., because in the eyes of society – they are not real men if they do these things.
Yet, here was God calling Adam to a state of confession. To confess — homologeo (Greek) — means to say the same thing, to agree. In Proverbs 28:13 we see where mercy can be found in confession. Confession leads to renouncing which leads to mercy. Mercy takes us to the place of healing. It is the mercy of God that caused Him to sacrifice His Son for us.
An example of a real man is found right there in the Bible, in the person of Jesus Christ. The Word tells us that He faced every temptation that we could possibly face and yet He did not sin. Some persons may think this is an impossible role model. After all, was not Jesus both man and God? Yet, while He was here on earth, He had to rely on the Holy Spirit, spending time in His Father’s Presence. The admonition – “be thou holy as I am holy” is only impossible if we are going to do this in our strength. This is why a relationship with Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit is necessary.
Any good relationship brings a sense of stability and peace to the parties involved. The more secure one feels in a relationship, the more likely it is to speak from the heart, express emotions and fears or enjoy silent communion with each other. A common fault/concern of women is that we desire our men to talk to us constantly. If our men are not speaking to us, it is time to examine why.
• Can they trust us with their hearts?
• Have we provided a safe place for them to speak?
• Do we gossip about what they tell us?
• Do we receive gossip about them?
• Do we express genuine concern and listen?
• Or, do we try to hurry it up so that we can get to tell them about our problems?
• Do we pray with them?
• Do we pray for them?
• Are we a source of comfort or a source of stress?
• How is our relationship with Jesus?
• Are we always complaining?
• Do we applaud their successes?
• Do we encourage them when they fail?
If men are not secure in a relationship with Christ, it is not likely that they will be secure in a relationship with anyone. Also, the intrinsic makeup of men to be provider, security, and priest of the home puts them under a lot of pressure. That is why the Lord said “It is not good for man to be alone” and made him a helper This helper is his support, the person that lifts him up in prayer. She is the person that he must be able to be vulnerable before.
A man who is secure in his relationship with Christ will be able to weather the storms of an earthly relationship. He must be given to self-examination at all times – keeping short accounts with God.
- Where am I?
- In my relationship with Christ?
- Do I trust Him?
- Am I totally dependent on Him
- Am I being honest with Him?
- Am I obedient to His Word?
- What is the fruit of my relationship with Him?
- In my relationship with Christ?
- In my earthly relationships
- Family (wife, children, friends and acquaintances)
- Can I be trusted?
- Can they depend on me?
- Will they obey me?
- What is the fruit of my relationship with them?
- Is Christ seen in me?
- Do I feel safe with my wife?
- Can I express my emotions before her?
- How does she see me?
- Am I afraid to know?
- Can I express my fears?
- Do I trust her wisdom?
- What changes am I prepared to make so that I am correctly positioned?
Author: Sylvia M Dallas
Poet, Author, Photographer, Teacher of the Word and CEO and Director of Creator Services at The Publisher’s Notebook Limited based in Jamaica. She is married to Rohan Dallas, is a proud grandmother, loves coffee (Jamaican, of course), loves great tasting and healthy food, love to cook and is an unabashed follower of Jesus Christ. Her books AND THE PRISONERS HEARD THEM, THE RIGHT KIND OF INTIMACY and THE BED DEFILED are available on Amazon.
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