My daughter (15) is going through a tough time at school. She fancies a boy but is often at odds with him, and has moved friendship groups to be with the “cool girls.” She hasn’t entirely burned her bridges with her old friends, but it’s a trying time for her and us as she struggles with growing up!
Deuteronomy 6:5-7 — “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
In Deuteronomy 6:5, it states to love God with all our heart, soul, and strength. Sadly my daughter does not always take that to heart. She has doubts – who doesn’t – but often refuses to show or admit the faith we’ve raised her in.
Talk With Your Children About God’s Love
I wish she could believe and understand how God can work in her life and ease her troubles. I try to talk to her about it, but she usually shuns my attempts. Of course, she hates us for interfering in her life. We’ve got to love and look after her (and her brother).
Deuteronomy 6:7 speaks to me right now, as I try and sit with her every night at bedtime and talk to her about her feelings, what’s happened, and how she can help herself and others. It’s usually a lovely time, as she does talk rationally and sensibly, which she rarely does during the day when she’s riled! It’s great that she does open up to me, and I’ve learned more during our bedtime chats than at any other time for years, probably.
Every Child Needs Something Different
I guess I’m lucky in that my other child, my younger son, is not going through these traumas. He’s a different beast entirely! He can be as riled and rude as my daughter, but I guess boys go about their friendships in a different way than girls. So far we’ve had no problems with him and his friends. Thank you, Lord!
I thank Him too that our daughter, for all her quirks, is a wonderful girl. She’s smart, intelligent, and generous to her friends. Not always to her parents, but if you don’t expect difficulty from a teenager, then you’re approaching parenting wrong!
I pray daily for my children, though it is difficult as troubles still occur without resolution. I hope that one day, they will appreciate my small efforts and come to know God’s love and gracefully be moved, inspired, and made safe by it.
For more reading materials on Talk With Your Children Individually, see below:
- How to Communicate With Your Children
- Why Dads Should Listen To Their Children’s Opinions
- Leg Day: Getting Involved With Your Kids
As a father of three girls, one boy and three beautiful grandchildren, I can reassure you I have a diploma in what you are going through. Stand strong in your faith with God and reassure your children of his daily presence. As for those rotten teenage years for girls and fathers it was always told to me that those days would happen. But my relation with my first daughter was different. She could not wait for me to get home and play kickball or watch Disney movies. Than it happened. No more talks or walks or play time and it broke my heart. As time went on my second daughter approached the same age and she began to rebel. Then it was time for my third daughter and she did not stand a chance. It happens and the only way to deal with it is to be strong to your beliefs and preach them everyday. The good news is by the time they hit 19 or 20 they come back full circle and a lot more. Hang in and may God bless your family.
One day at a time Hermano…I have a younger daughter 5 year old, but it doesn’t take much from me to imagine her 15. My daughter talks of friends constantly and focuses on what she wants to do rather than others…We have to believe, show and prove God to them….to the best that we can and let His grace be sufficient enough for the rest.