Reflections on Hugh Hefner’s Passing

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“Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth.” — Proverbs 5:18

Hugh Hefner died of natural causes at the age of 91. The founder of Playboy magazine was the envy of men the world over. His home—Playboy Mansion—was the location of frequent parties attended by celebrities, politicians, millionaires of all stripes, and of course numerous gorgeous and scantily clad women. As for Hefner himself, he never was to sleep alone, but he had his pick of countless beauties. Even as he aged, his bedtime companions did not.

Fading Pleasures

What a life! Fame, luxury, and all the sexual pleasure a man could ever dream of. What more could a man want?

And that is the tragedy that is Hugh Hefner. His desires, his goals, and his standards were remarkably low. For he never knew the joy of real love. He never felt the pride and delight of children and grandchildren. He never experienced the comfort of a stable relationship with a woman who would love him for who he was instead of what he could give. And he never tasted the sweetness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. What a life? Indeed, what a life wasted.

As C. S. Lewis said, “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

Higher Standards

Men, when we are looking for someone to emulate—someone who knows what life really is—someone who knows what it means to be a man—the temptation is to lower our standards and admire the Hugh Hefners of the world. But if you want to know what a real man is, let me encourage you to set your standards higher than that.

Look to the man who comes home to his family every day. Look to the man whose idea of fun is playing catch in the yard with his little man or having a tea party with a princess. Look to the man who romances his bride and delights in sex that is more than physical. Look to the man who holds a withered hand and sings an old song to his wife of 62 years, even though she can’t remember his name. Look to men like these, for they are the heroes.

Let Hugh Hefner’s death serve as a sad reminder of a man who wasted his life drinking from a well that could never quench his thirst. And let us resolve that we will neither pursue nor envy those lesser pleasures. Let us be real men. Let us rejoice in the wives of our youth. And let us live lives that matter.

Authored by Mike Miller, the pastor of Central Baptist Church in Jacksonville, Texas.



  1. Herb L Johnson jr

    This Was Awesome, Yes I’ve Heard Of Hugh Hefner When I Was A Kid Growing Up, But As I Got Older And Going Through A Lot Of Things As A Young Man I Finally Realized That I Needed Jesus In My Life!

    • Mark

      sorry- You lost me on the comment – Gospel of Jesus Christ- I’m out- looking for a group not affiliated with a religious doctrine- Just a human one-

      • Tj Todd

        We try to be as “human” as possible with our content. We try to not be heavy handed nor do we try to sugar coat tough topics. Our culture has a “anything that feels good goes” problem and no-one seems to care. I’m sure there are many good groups out there, but are you looking for one that challenges you or just agrees with everything you already know? We’ll be here if you change your mind as you are always welcome. God Bless

      • Robert Fitch

        Mark…..you are already affiliated with a group that is not affiliated with a religious doctrine, it is called mankind, humans, the fallen world etc. I urge you to research the Gospel of Jesus Christ, accept Him as your savior. You will never be the same. My life (i’m 64) has been so blessed. My Savior brought me sobriety, a 36 yr. ( so far) marriage, two daughters, a beautiful log Cabin home in the redwoods and retirement 7 yrs. ago! Alll Glory to God, no human group could have ever brought me to this wonderful time and place.

      • Josue

        God sacrificed is son Jesus Christ for all of humanity and He is your Creator, you’re not going to find a better group than that. If you do, please let us know.

        May Christ’s grace and peace bless your life.

  2. Kevin Haggerty

    This is article is so telling. We live in an age where it is believed that a man like Hugh Heffner was a symbol of success. He was just like King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes that all that striving led to vanity and nothing but emptiness. Men today must stand up to such low standards, and our lives must be living examples of Christ, and be heroes inn society to our wives, children and community. It can and has been done, but it takes denying ourselves, putting Christ first, and refusing to live in compromise and mediocrity.

  3. isaac thibodeaux

    Growing up in a broken home where stepmothers were in out, definitely cause me not to trust any women! I mean every one that was in my life as child including my mother had left me! I found that I had to perfect my heart by not letting a women have control. After a very rough child hood I was about as wild as they come. I was in bars when I wasn’t working and then I met my wife and had my first daughter with 2 more to quickly follow. I didn’t find the lord for another 11 years and it was a struggle for me to be a good husband and father I needed to be. It took God showing me that I still had this block and guard on my heart not letting my full heart be open to my wife. I had to go to the root and I had to do it with God. I finally told my wife the truth about how I felt and for 11 years I blocked her access to 100% of my heart. I know it hurt her to hear this after 11 years but after explaining my life and telling her that I was removing that block because she is the love of my life. We have changed so much. I see how much work it is to be a stay home mom. She doesn’t get a raise if she does well, she doesn’t get a promotion or a bonus if she helps the girls get straight A’s! That’s where I have to roll up my sleeves and wash the dishes scrub to bath tub, toilets what ever I can do to show her I appreciate her hard work! I also have to open up my heart and show affection which is not easy for a man that was not taught sensitivity ever. I have it to got found the root and pulled it. I don’t want my 3 daughters to be with a man who isn’t willing to open up and show affection and treat them as equal. All Glory to God for this huge breakthrough in our life. It’s easy to say I make the money you take care of the house. But try switching roles I guarantee her Job is much harder!!! I love you Melissa!

    • Gards

      Thank you for sharing your amazing journey and encouraging us with it

      • isaac thibodeaux

        My pleasure could’ve gone on and on God has worked so many Mircales in my life. I pray that all people have eyes to see the blessings even when faced with a storm. Sometimes a storm is what gets us to the point he needs us!!

    • Javier Guzman


    • David Dyson

      Hi Isaac, how did you deal with the insensitive issues. I have gone through a life of women letting me down, starting with my mum, first wife, partner, second wife. I am now with a Christian woman who I love but the insecurity creeps in

      • Isaac

        I had to realize the truths and pull the roots from the past hurts. In my class we outlined our body on paper. The we wrote all our hurts down. If it was a mental hurt it went in the head area if it was a heart hurt it went on the heart area etc…. I was super surprised that the man I looked up to so much ( My Father) who raised me and my 2 sisters had caused so much mental hurt. I realized he taught me not to give my full heart because he had been divorced 4 times before I was 18. He also taught me to stay on guard and that I have to be forceful to make sure no woman gets everything “I” worked for. I could go on but I think you can see this only led me no matter how hard I tried bottom line was I was taught not to give the women in my life the respect they deserve. My wife chose to be a stay at home mom for my girls but I agreed that I would never control our money. It’s OUR money not mine. Even though I was offshore making it she was working 10 times harder ( please note I know this now I was the common man 4-5 years ago as long as the yard work was done it was recliner and fishing or hunting time) I didn’t see it that way until I dealt and up rooted the very bad lessons I’d been taught. I still struggle. It’s warfare from the enemy that causes this insecurity in us if we don’t trust, learn to cry, learn to love without boundaries, and give 100% of our earthly life to comprise in every disagreement we will never get rid of the root and the bitterness and insecurity will sneak back in. I had to forgive my mom even though she left me when I was 3 it was my anger that asked her to forgive me for. I now have 3 daughters I want them to see me folding clothes, doing dishes, and helping my wife even though I also provide financially. Our wives don’t get to move up and become Vice President of her job as a stay at home mom. It’s our job to give her the love and affirmation she STRONGLY DESERVES! I am in awe when I see her handle things. It really opened my eyes to what I missed out on not having a mom in my life. Ps. March 17 will be our 11 anniversary and April will be 14 years of life together but truly the last 4 has been the best. Nothing can be separate in my opinion we are a team and a team has to operate together if they will make it. Support her dreams don’t only focus on your career but what y’all can do as a family because of you are one now celebrate. Pray away the thoughts find the root and pull it. Tell her you love her and look in her eyes be UNCOMMEN!!

  4. Cary

    I’m almost 80 years old and wish a program like this had been available when I was young. I will pass it on hoping to encourage the young men I know.

  5. Burgess

    Aptly stated, Pastor Mike: “… a man who wasted his life drinking from a well that could never quench his thirst.”

    When I think of my own hero… I choose my father; a bald, imperfect man who worked and labored hard to provide for Mom and me, drove a humble compact car all his life and woke my @ss up every Sunday morning to take us to church. On Hugh Hefner’s best day, he was never one tenth the man that my father is in this life.

  6. Brian Williams

    Amen! And; Amen! Love the statement by C.S. Lewis. We are too easily pleased. Outstanding article that speaks directly to the heart

  7. Inmer

    Wow! This made me open the eyes of my heart. I’m so grateful, thank you so much..the story or testimony of Isaac made me cry and also open the eyes of my heart…thanks again…


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