“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her…However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself.” Ephesians 5:25 & 33.
Love your wife involves showing her love and affection in a way that is meaningful to her. Find out what makes your wife feel loved.
Picture the scene: my wife walking down the street holding one of our kids. As she crosses the street, a total stranger notices she is about to step in front of a bus. In a heroic moment, that total stranger could be willing to lay down his life for my wife by jumping in front of a bus to push her toward safety.
As noble as that sounds, I am not called to jump in front of moving vehicles very often. I think I am called to do something far more meaningful–to live for her. One challenge of writing about a topic is that I usually realize that I miss the mark. It can be humbling, but the challenge issued is important.
I know a lot of men, including me, who draw identity from work. It is highly common when two men meet each other and start a conversation. One of them will ask, “What do you do?” It is not a terrible thing to ask, but it is a nearsighted view of our roles. We forget that working is just a part of us. We errantly think it is the most important part of us.
What if I get up every morning and notice my wife walking down the street with one of our kids and I see her stepping in front of exhaustion? What if I see her walking through a plain day favoring that pain she has in her hip? Pain can take over a mind. If I love her “as I love myself” as the above verse instructs, am I compelled to step in and help?
In its purest form, if I love her as I love myself, I have to look at the world through her eyes as much as I look at it through my own, maybe more. I take a nap when I am tired. Do I make sure she does? I go to the doctor when I am sick. She won’t unless death seems imminent. Maybe I should make sure she makes the appointment. These are just simple things. What about more complicated issues like faith? Fears? Anxieties? Insecurities? Goals? Dreams? Victories?
- How often do I sit and ask her how she is and really want to know everything?
- How often do I look at myself as the best source of love in her life?
Challenge: Most of the time, I think our spouse just wants to relate, talk, or connect with us. In fact, my wife has started a sentence with “I do not need a solution, just listen…” Gentlemen, how often do we let her know we love her as we love ourselves?
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