How can I have confidence in fatherhood when I wasn’t taught how to be one? It’s something I used to ponder on as I transitioned into Fatherhood. I grew up without an active father in my life. I can think of so many things I felt I should have learned from my father but instead learned from peers or even the internet.
For example, I learned to tie a tie, change a tire, and even shave from youtube. Not that anything is wrong with self-learning, but the confirmation and encouragement can’t be accomplished on an internet app.
Philippians 1:6 — “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
Confidence in Fatherhood
This experience left me wondering what type of father I would be. Would I have the instinct to do what my biological father didn’t necessarily teach me? The revelation I received from this scripture was a resounding, “God’s Got This.” Although I was focusing on what I thought I did not have, God has shown me time and time again, that He will not leave Fatherless, those who have a desire to be fathered. He allowed me to have positive male figures such as church deacons, and pastors, to step in at the right time to provide me vital lessons.
This scripture also lets us know that it was not “Man” who started this excellent work of Fatherhood in us, but it was God himself that started the work and will. God can take you from growing up without a father, to working for a fatherhood program, showing other fathers how they can navigate barriers to be great fathers as He has done for me. Confidence does not have to come from our accomplishments; in fact, it should come from and acknowledgment that when I’m weak, that’s when He is strong.
So have confidence, that no matter what it seems like you were missing from your father, know that you and I share the greatest father.
For more reading materials on Confidence in Fatherhood, see below:
- 3 Things Every Son Needs From Their Father
- What Godly Obedience Looks Like
- Fathering Like The Father
Growing up without a father in my life and now being a father of 3 kids myself has really been a challenge for me.
I’m 29 years old and I’ve been through a divorce which truly brought me down to reality and made me realize, I can’t and never could live on this Earth without the constant word and armor Jesus Christ provides us.
Growing up, I also had to teach myself everything a father should teach a young boy, while transitioning into adulthood. Although, I wouldn’t change what I went through in the past because it made me who I am today, I do often look at myself and wonder how many disappointments, heartaches, and bad lessons could I may have avoided if my father was around.
I’m no angel and I’ve had my share of sin with lessons and scars to go with them.
Knowing how I felt and the pain I had to endure without my father there to guide me has made me an awesome role model, and father to my 9 year old son, 6 year old son, and my 5 year old princess.
Even though, my kids mother and I have been divorced for about 3 years. My kids still ask question and wonder why daddy and mommy aren’t together.
My answer has and always will be the same. It’s doesn’t matter if mommy and daddy are together are not, I’m here for you all and that will never change.