How We Speak With Each Other Matters to God

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Does how we speak matter? The scriptures are clear.

Ephesians 4:29 — “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Today’s lesson is about the tearing down and building up of others. 

Our verse today covers several great topics on communication with others. The first part should stop us all in our tracks with the statement, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths.” You’ve heard of the saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Back home in New Orleans, I can remember signs in some Mom & Pop shops that said, “Be nice or leave.” 

How We Talk

It seems we have trouble just being nice to each other and have to be reminded over and over again to do so. It’s amazing how a person can be so insecure that it’s almost painful for them to be kind to someone. They are always tearing others down, trying to tell you how right they are and how wrong this group of people are. Certainly, as Christians, we should stand for truth, but we should do it with both love and courage. Neither should be done in isolation.

We have a couple of friends who excel at encouragement and positivity. Both are Christians and have each gone through tremendous trials and health issues. But they always seem to be on the lookout to encourage people, find God in every moment and be an all around positive person. 

Our verse says, “but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” 

Does How We Speak Matter? God Says Yes

When was the last time you were in a conversation and intentionally spent time building up the other person? Notice that the verse ends with, “that it may give Grace to those who hear.” I know when we leave our friends, we have a great sense of Grace. It helps us remember that God is good in all situations. While there will always be things that are out of our control, it’s not out of God’s control. 

So if everything is in God’s control, why are we complaining? Why the corrupt talk? I’m sure you can think of a person who is always complaining about something or someone when you speak to them. When you listen to them, does that gives you Grace? Probably not. 

The next time you are speaking to someone, look at that as a chance to verbalize Grace and truth into someone. If the truth is a hard truth, express it with gentleness and love. It’s more important to be Godly than be right.


Author: Tj Todd is the CEO of Studio490 Creative Services and Creative Director of UNCOMMEN.

For more reading on how we speak to each other and why it matters, we recommend these articles:



  1. Rick Claiborn

    Thanks. I needed this today

    • Tj Todd

      Thank you brother…for all your do for Uncommen!

  2. Charles Lane

    Thanks . I m going through a divorce. I need that word

    • Tj Todd

      Charles, we will be praying for you and your wife during this time. You may want to read our devotional “Surviving Divorce” on YouVersion. Stay Uncommen!

  3. Tom Higgins

    We just moved into a new neighborhood and looking for ways to connect with our neighbors. Eph 4:29 what a perfect way to leave them with Grace & encouragement. Be nice or leave – love it! WWJD

  4. Linette Martin

    This was a blessing to me something I need to read.


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