The Uncommen Marriage
Over 98% of the emails we receive when asking for help has been centered around marriage struggles. Either someone is starting the process of divorce, in the middle of one, separated, or some dysfunction that is causing marital issues. We always ask the same four questions to start:
- Are you and your wife, a believer in Jesus?
- Do you pray daily?
- Do you read God’s Word daily?
- When was the last time you did a marriage study with your wife?
We ask these questions because we feel if you and your wife have God as the center of your marriage, there will be fewer divorces.
If you pray daily, God will speak with you about issues that should be addressed now before they start to impact your marriage.
If you read God’s word daily, you will both learn what it means to be more Christlike, and it will begin to ripple through your marriage.
If you and your wife are actively working on your marriage by doing Bible studies around your relationship, it will make you draw closer to God and each other.
Not by our power but by the power of the Holy Spirit
We understand that we don’t know the situation you and your wife are in nor what each one has done to the other. But God does, and that’s why we ask these foundational questions to see where God is in your lives.
In many of the prayer requests and emails, one person is pleading with the other to change or saying they will change themselves if the spouse gives them another chance. We feel that we don’t have the power to make meaningful, lasting change without the Holy Spirit living in us.
Uncommen Application
We are not marriage counselors, but we know enough to point you to the one who designed marriage.
Ephesians 5:21-30
“Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”
1 Corinthians 14:4-8
“Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Matthew 19:6
“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Uncommen Devotionals (YouVersion & Olive Tree)
Here are some our devotionals centered around marriage, divorce, communication etc.
Uncommen Husbands – Click Here
So you may not be an All-Pro Husband? Who is? At UNCOMMEN, we believe God designed men to win as leaders, husbands, and dads. In just a few minutes each day, we’ll stretch those husband muscles and get you back in the game!
Uncommen Husbands – Part 2 – Click Here
The duty of being a Godly husband for your wife didn’t cease after the marriage ceremony. It’s a daily calling God has placed on your life. Join Uncommen as we plunge into real, practical topics you face every day.
Husbands Defined – Click Here
We live in a time and place where words, and even facts are continually being challenged and redefined. The result of this is unclear roles for a husband within family life. Without a precise function, this leads to instability and an overall lack of leadership within the home. Through this study, we will examine the role of a husband according to God’s Word. Join us as we explore the Scriptures and gain a firm grasp on the definition of being a great husband so that we can serve our wives, our children, and the world around us.
Broken – Click Here
Divorce is messy. In the aftermath, relationships with your ex-spouse and children can be tense. We invite you to follow along with this seven-day devotional, where we’ll find transformation, healing, and victory in Jesus Christ, even in the aftermath of divorce.
Man In Crises – Click Here
What’s your response when your wife says she’s done with your relationship? Crisis mode ensues. This 12-day devotional gives practical insight from a man’s real-life perspective. If your marriage is dying or thriving, this devotional will be worth the read.
Surviving Divorce – Click Here
The heartbreak, the lost love, the grief, and the shame that comes with unwanted divorce doesn’t have to stay forever. You don’t need to go through this alone. In this study, we’ll learn how we can lean heavily on God’s strength despite life’s most troubling events.
Words – Click Here
In a world where communication is easier than ever, why does it seem that no one can communicate effectively? It’s hard enough to communicate the Gospel to someone based on opportunity, openness, and willingness. So let’s make the best of it and communicate with not only the Truth of God but also with the Love of God.
Code Purple – Click Here
Code Purple? It’s the overlap of blue and pink. It’s where men and women interact with each other in a way that may be different than the way they are used to. The blue man shows up to hear the problem, dole out a fix, and get back to the game. The pink woman shows up with emotions to spare and wants you to listen to her, and the issue at hand. Where they overlap is what we call… CODE PURPLE.
Marriage Counseling
If you are at that place where you can’t seem to change, your spouse won’t or neither of you will, then marriage counseling may be beneficial to you both.
- Many churches offer marital counseling.
- Find a couple who could serve as a mentor for each of you.
- Pay a professional to provide counseling – Faithful Counseling
Why counseling? Because we have a knack for justifying our actions no matter the situation. You and your spouse may need a third-party to be objective and speak Truth & Grace into your marriage.
Attend Church Weekly
While this may seem obvious to some and offensive to others, it needs to be said none the less. If you want to learn about living a Gospel-driven God-focused life, then you need to go where God’s word is preached. Being around other Christian couples will also help you with support, encouragement, and accountability.
Marriage Studies
One of the most powerful techniques to help strengthen your marriage is to do marriage studies with each other proactively. If you and your spouse never stop working on your marriage, you’ll never have to work on your marriage.
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman – Click Here
The Meaning of Marriage By: Timothy Keller, Kathy Keller – Click Here
You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity By: Francis Chan, Lisa Chan – Click Here
Kingdom Marriage By: Tony Evans – Click Here
The Mingling of Souls: God’s Design for Love, Sex, Marriage, and Redemption By: Matt Chandler, Jared Wilson – Click Here
Uncommen Articles
You can visit our Blog and read much on the topics of Marriage, Husbands, Divorce, and more.
How to Survive a Divorce – Click Here
How You Can Love Your Wife Well – Click Here
Your Free Trial is About to Expire – Click Here
How Genesis Shows Us The Beauty of Marriage – Click Here
Here’s What Marriage Requires to Last – Click Here
Tips on Managing Conflict in Your Marriage – Click Here
Marriage Advice – Tips on Tone – Click Here
How We Speak With Each Other Matters to God – Click Here
God Gave You 2 Ears & 1 Mouth | Listen! – Click Here
Man In Action: A Faithful Husband – Click Here
I hope this information helps you and your marriage find sure footing on God’s plan for you both.
Stay Uncommen!