This week’s post is written by Josiah Goodrum, an aspiring writer from Asheville that made his way to the Queen City to go to UNCC and strike it rich… in life, if not finances.
Love your wife well. This month at UNCOMMEN the focus has been on how men can have the biggest impact on their families and make a lasting impression on their kids. U Can Love is all about starting at the heart and soul of any family, the love between a man and a woman.
I grew up in an uncommon household. Not only did my dad do things that he was supposed to do like Chris Rock says, but he also took my mom on dates, made her breakfast in bed, planned surprise birthdays and helped out a lot with the four of us kids.
My dad was always heavily involved with things like sports and scouts and being my sister’s hero; he was always there coaching and cheering us on. He taught us to behave and to be the best we could be.
My dad was and is romantic. Not just the over the top stuff that you see on TV–although he did do some of that stuff–but the nitty gritty things like making pancakes on saturday mornings or weed-eating the mountainside or a number of household chores that lesser men would not even considered doing. My dad showed me how to treat a woman and my siblings and I are fortunate enough to be apart of this amazing love story that still continues to this day as both parents prepare for grandparenthood.
One of the more extravagant romantic moments dad pulled off was one of my mom’s birthdays, I don’t remember which one but I do remember the epicness of the occasion. Dad painstakingly planned every detail of a massive treasure hunt around Asheville where my mom found clues that led to friends taking her to her favorite stores, out to lunch until she eventually ended up in a hotel room with scrapbooks and no kids. With his precise and planning nature my father pulled off one of the single greatest birthday surprises ever. It was, as we would put it, UNCOMMEN.
My dad’s kindness and romance towards my mom to this day is the stuff of legend and has led to some over the top proposals from my brother and me. My brother organized a whole event with family and friends and a walk down memory lane. I wrote a song and sang with the rising sun. We learned the importance of romance from dad.
Consistent and creative my dad to this day continues to show me how a man should love his wife. He laughs and jokes around, he opens the car door for her and whisks her out on the dance floor–aka the living room– in front of all us grown up kids who look on with an interesting mix of awkward, awe and ew. I never knew a day when I doubted that my parents loved each other and that is truly UNCOMMEN.
I’m on the cusp of marriage. I’m young and poor and have no idea what I want to do with my life. But I do know that I want to love my bride to be like my dad loves my mom. I don’t need a million dollars in my bank account, and I don’t need to live in a south Charlotte mansion with a pool in the backyard, but I do need to love my wife like there is literally no tomorrow. Thanks to dad I’ve still got a few of his tricks up my sleeve.
My dad isn’t famous, my dad isn’t rich, my dad doesn’t have the most interesting job or the most interesting hobbies, in a lot of ways I’m sure he isn’t that much different from any man reading this blog post. But he loves my mom well in simple everyday things that shows he means those famous three words. I. Love. You. And that is UNCOMMEN.